I find myself asking this question every single day. I've become very aware that technology is used as the number one constant source of communication, affection and symbol of caring. I've also become aware that I'm 100% guilty of this. Let's face it, courting doesn't exist in this day and age and the internet and cell phones are the new dating services. They shouldn't be though; why do we expect so much more but in such a superficial manner?
Only one time I have been asked, in person and in a public setting, for my number. He wasn't very honest in his intentions of wanting my number but it's hard to go up to someone and just say, "Hi, I like you, here's my number," no matter how many times you listen to "Call Me Maybe." My reaction was pure shock, not because I was interested or flattered, but because I was just stunned. Every time I've been asked out on a first date it's been through some form of technology. This is just the start of what turns out to be a relationship that is defined and expressed mostly through facebook and cell phones.
In my experiences, if a guy doesn't text me, he's not interested. That's not always the case though. I know for a fact that the guy I've been seeing for a long time really likes and cares about me even if he has a hard time showing it. Every day I wonder what he's doing, where he is, what he's thinking about, if he's thought about me, etc. I'm nosey and like to have constant communication. I used to think that I'm just genuinely interested in his day and his thoughts but maybe it really is just all about me and my satisfaction. Do I really need to have conversation with him every day just to know that I'm important to him? No. Still, each day I don't get a text I go to bed wondering if everything is okay and if I'm still the one he wants to be with. There's a lot wrong with this picture. Such a superficial thing shouldn't be the deciding factor of the status of any relationship.
Technology, especially texting, has become the number one source of affection and frankly, I'm sick of it. I like cute texts just like any other girl but I look at my older siblings and how their relationships revolve around real-life communication, love and affection. In my heart I know things are fine and that I'm still his 'ponyo' but I can't help but wonder why I have that constant urge to be reminded of this.
A good friend of mine and I were talking about what love means to us tonight. He told me that: "It's being with someone and not having to try. You can just sit there and not talk and you're happy. You shouldn't have to make it obvious that you love them; it's not something that needs to be shown it's something that should be felt."
This struck a pretty big chord in my head and he's absolutely right. If the reason that I have this draw to constant reminders that I'm loved through materialistic and shallow ways is because that's the way that love is shown now-a-days then that's just sad.
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